Six weeks ago

I thought I was going to die. I really did. I felt so bad I finally went into the Doctor. I had so many weird things going on in my body I was certain he would think I was crazy. I certainly felt crazy.

The scariest thing was I couldn't breath without pain. My throat and tongue felt swollen. My fingers and toes felt numb. Pins and needles. My back, oh it hurt so bad. All the way up my shoulder and under my right breast. Pain that would not go away with pain killers. Sometimes I even felt something like bugs crawling under my skin.

I would wake up in the morning after sleeping 6 to 8 hours and just getting up was exhausting. I would sit for an hour or two gathering strength to go to work. Walking was an effort. My legs felt so weak. Some days every bone in my body hurt. I was constantly cold. Frozen. I felt like I couldn't think. I certainly couldn't remember anything and talking was sometimes hard. Even my voice had gone hoarse.

Each evening I curled up and rested with my cats. Just working up the strength to do simple stuff like laundry. I lost interest in doing things. A trip anywhere was just too much. Even posting to people at night was sometimes more effort then I could do. I was scared but it was time I got in to the Doctor before it was too late.

My Doctor looked at my file and asked me why I hadn't had my blood work done when I was supposed to. I said I wanted to but things were not good for me this year and everything seemed to be getting away from me. He asked me what was happening and I told him some stuff. I told him about losing a cat and he asked me about her. It made me cry a little. He was very good about it.

After he listened to me about my symptoms he asked me what I thought it could be. I don't know I told him. Maybe, my thyroid, or my heart. He agreed and told me there were several other things it could be too. Such as Diabetes or MS. Then he looked at me and asked me something I didn't want to hear. "What else could it be? Something that you are worried about?" I told him my fear. Cancer. He nodded and said it was very possible. Quietly he told me there was a strong possibility and we had to check it out first and foremost. Right away. Then he took a tissue and wiped away my tears and told me he was going to do everything he could to heal me so I could heal from the loss of Miss Minnie. That really scared me because my Doctor is a little more on the gruff then gentle side.

He sent me to get chest xrays, spinal xrays and a whole host of tests and of course the dreaded bloodwork just in case. With an appointment in a week to follow up.

I know some people stay calm and cool. I may have seemed it but inside me, my anxiety levels were through the roof.

Here in Canada if something shows up, the Doctor will call when the tests come back and ask to see you right away. I had my tests and my bloodwork all completed on a Friday. Monday came and went and no phone call. Whew! I think I am in the clear. Then Tuesday afternoon the phone rang. It was the Doctors office. I was shaking as the receptionist at the Doctors office explained that all my tests came back. Then she told me I had an very low thyroid and they wanted me to get on thyroid medication right away. They called in prescription and had me pick it up on the way home from work. I actually cried with relief when she told me this.